


all you need is self-love and a good talk

by wolfupasshole



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Break Up, Cold Feet, Depression, Fix-It, Hurt, I'll add more tags as i go, M/M, Post-Break Up, Probably fluff later on, Therapy, Wedding, actually getting help, don't take wonwoo having anxiety as me wanting to make him the emo kid bc i hate that, i love fluff and hurt/comfort, i wanted him to be more real?, i'm sorry i'm hurting a puppy, it gets better tho, mingyu gets hurt, probably talk about, wonwoo has lots of anxiety and is confused
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-25 00:14:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14964953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfupasshole/pseuds/wolfupasshole
Summary: Wonwoo goes missing before his wedding, Mingyu tries to understand but the more he knows, the more he hurts.





	all you need is self-love and a good talk

**Author's Note:**

> cross posted at @gyuchromatic
> 
>  
> 
> my native language isn't english, so let me know if you spot any mistakes.
> 
> this is the first time i actually post anything on ao3, let me know what you think.
> 
> i do want to talk about anxiety and depression in this fic and how just falling in love doesn't fix mental illness and other stuff, i'll set the warnings properly.

Mingyu’s ears were still ringing, his hands sweating but not as noticeable as when Jeonghan has first told him. He was still trying to calm himself. At first he didn’t believe it, thought it was an awful time to make a joke like this, saying that they couldn’t find Wonwoo, that Cheol had asked Jeonghan if he’d seen Wonwoo after he put on his tux and got his hair done by Jisoo.

After that Wonwoo had walked out of his room and no one had seen him since. They had looked for him everywhere, called his phone, texted him, went around the block to see if he was outside breathing in fresh air but nothing.

The last place they thought about was the room where Mingyu was getting ready, maybe he had gone to Mingyu out of nerves but the reality was that Mingyu was alone in the room, trying to calm down his own nerves down, waiting for the time he had to walk outside and marry the love of his life.

They had to tell him, it’d be cruel not to, they couldn’t wait until last minute to do it even though it already felt like it was quite late.

Jeonghan’s stomach flipped at Mingyu’s face, asking jeonghan to repeat what he had said, not understanding and having to sit down.

“So you called him?” Mingyu asked. He had decided to leave his phone at home, he didn’t need it on this day, everyone was already going to be taking pictures, people who could call him or text him today were all here, accompanying him on his most important day. Bringing his phone to his wedding seemed like a stupid idea in the morning now he regretted it. He could be calling Wonwoo right now, maybe he’d pick up if he saw it was him. Or maybe he wouldn’t.

“Yeah, he’s not picking up, he turned it off,” Jeonghan quietly told him.

Mingyu’s heart clenched but it was okay, Wonwoo just went out, maybe he was walking around, he normally did that when he needed time to think, he would still pick up his phone because he knew Mingyu worried about him a lot but still, this didn’t mean he had left, or worse, that something had happened to him.

“We’ll look for him, he wouldn’t go far,” Mingyu started as he stood up, grabbing for his jacket.

Outside he could hear someone tumbling and running, footsteps getting louder by the second and maybe just maybe it was Wonwoo, though the footsteps weren’t quite him, but Mingyu could lie to himself if it meant— at that moment Seungcheol bursted into the room, his phone in hand.

“It’s him, it’s him, it’s him!” Seungcheol screamed almost throwing his phone at Mingyu like it was on fire.

The relief on Mingyu’s face was visible and he wiped the screen and set it to his ear.

“Babe, Wonwoo, it’s me, Mingyu, where are you?” Mingyu felt like asking a thousand questions more but chose the one that mattered the most at the moment.

Still there was only white noise on the other side of the line, although he did hear some cars on the back. Wonwoo must have been walking.

“I’m sorry,” it came as a sigh “I don’t know what I’m doing, I just couldn’t— I don’t know why— I was just—“ Mingyu noticed Wonwoo’s accelerated breathing as he talked and didn’t want him to end up hyperventilating even more like he did when he started to overthink stuff.

“Wonwoo just— just tell me where you are, _please_ ,” Mingyu knew how desperate he sounded and knew Wonwoo didn’t need to hear him like this but his fiancé had gone missing— on their wedding day— he had the right to be desperate.

“I— I don’t know,” wonwoo mumbled over the phone.

“Baby, snap out of it, listen to me, send me your location with your phone and I’ll get you, okay?” Mingyu tried to accentuate each one of his words carefully to keep wonwoo‘s attention, “Just send me your location and don’t move, okay?”

“Okay...” wonwoo’s voice sounded so far away.

“I’ll be there,” and with that the line cut off.

He didn’t know if Wonwoo understood and was already sending him what he asked for but he knew his hands were sweating again while he looked intently at his phone screen waiting for the notification to pop up. Like the more he stared at it the faster it would come when in reality, for him, it took minutes, he’ll never really know how long he was waiting for.

**wonu nonu has shared a location with you.**

A sigh of relief escaped him as he quickly clicked the notification, in a second he was out of the building, driving to get to his boyfriend.

A drop a sweat fell from the side of his forehead onto his hand. Wonwoo didn’t know he had been sweating so much, he hadn’t been running, just walking, it wasn’t even summer, just a nice chilly spring day, a really beautiful spring day. Beautiful enough to get married.

Wonwoo sighed and wiped the side of his forehead with his sleeve. Maybe he had too many layers on. Should he move to take his jacket off? He was told not to move, surely Mingyu didn’t mean this but what if he doesn’t recognise me without the jacket on? Mingyu doesn’t know what I’m wearing anyways, what if he doesn’t see me, what if he doesn’t come for me, he said he was coming for me. You’re not making any sense, just stop thinking.

He heard a car parking up not too far away from him and there was Mingyu, coming out of the car, coming to get him.

He stood up from where he was sitting— on the floor, god, he really was a mess, and waited for Mingyu to catch up to him.

He should’ve known Mingyu was going to hug him, bury his face in his neck, he was probably worried sick after all. Wonwoo already felt gross enough, inadequate enough that this hug, the one that had given him comfort so many times, wasn’t having the desired effect on him as he wished. Mingyu must have sensed this because he did let go of him, but still remained close.

“What happened?” Mingyu asked calmly with a slight smile, he wanted him to know he wasn’t mad, it wasn’t a big deal, trying to say ‘we’ll laugh about this tomorrow.’

Will they? He searched for Wonwoo’s eyes but he looked so lost.

“I don’t know,” was all Wonwoo could say.

“It’s okay, bab—“ he was interrupted by Wonwoo whose tone was a little higher.

“I don’t think” Wonwoo said. “I don’t think I can get married,” his voice turned weak as he spoke and his breathing stronger.

To say Mingyu wasn’t disappointed was a lie, he did want to get married and Wonwoo and him had talked about it countless time, he didn’t know what had changed this time. He couldn’t show his disappointment though, for Wonwoo.

“It’s fine, babe.”

“It’s not, it’s really not, I don’t want to get married I don’t know why I said I did and all this time I told you I wanted this, I kept stringing you along” Wonwoo said almost in one breath.

“Don’t worry about it. Wonwoo, you’re overthinking everything, everything was okay yesterday. You and I both know this is the anxiety speaking, I know you, I know you said it because you meant it”

“No, no Mingyu, just— you know when you say something and then you realize like shit why did a say that but then things keep balling up and getting out of hand and you don’t know how to stop it and you’re too much of a coward to take it back because then, then— and next thing you kno—“ Mingyu was also lost at this point, he was having a hard time catching up so he decided to stop Wonwoo before he kept rambling, he had to know why Wonwoo had turned 180 degrees over night.

“Okay! okay... you don’t want to get married we, we can work through that, but you do want to be with me, right? like— it’s not that you don’t want to marry me...” suddenly Wonwoo couldn’t look him in the eyes and Mingyu knew he was going to regret asking, shocking up on his last words he finished “Right?”

Wonwoo eyes filled with tears as he spoke.

“I’m so confused, Mingyu. What if this, me running away like this, means that I don’t feel the same way. Am I subconsciously running away from it bc it’s actually how I feel? You know I’m not good at this, I’m bad at reading my own feeling so I don’t know what’s happening right now”

“Wonwoo, last night you said you love me, what about that? What did you mean then?” Mingyu won’t ever know what hurt more, if seeing Wonwoo thinking the question over when he should be sure or the answer that came next.

“I don’t know” Wonwoo said finally. Mingyu was really getting tired of the not knowing’s.

They were both breathing hard and Mingyu eyes stung with tears.

“I think,” Mingyu started. “I think we shouldn’t be doing this right now,” he relaxed his stance and sighed out, they both knew what Mingyu meant by that.

Meanwhile Wonwoo brought a hand up to his eyes, it was hard for him to believe this was happening but at the same time he didn’t know how they managed to last so long.

Mingyu knew this wasn’t healthy, he’d rather stay with Wonwoo and console him and each other, tell him it was okay but it really wasn’t, it still hurt like a bitch not knowing if Wonwoo really did love him, like he had implied, Wonwoo had been going through this for some time.

Wonwoo did need this, needed the time to figure out what all of this was, what he wanted and what he didn’t. This might be hurting Mingyu right now but Wonwoo couldn’t keep him, couldn’t keep hurting him while he figured everything out, it wouldn’t be fair to him.

“I’ll call Cheol-hyung to come get you, I’ll tell everyone at the reception, I’ll look somewhere else to go” Mingyu couldn’t help choking up on his last words.

“Mingyu no, don’t, please” Wonwoo cried out. Was he really going to be this selfish, he already hurt Mingyu and he was going to keep doing it? Just because he didn’t want him to leave? Leave him?

Mingyu’s heart contracted at Wonwoo’s plead, he’d do anything for him, if Wonwoo said one more please he’ll surrender, he’ll take it all away, say they don’t need time apart, that they need to be together and fix it together.

Wonwoo cried into his hand a couple of minutes trying to find the courage, to let his selfishness go and let Mingyu go with it, for his sake. He nodded to himself once definitely.

“You shouldn’t be the one leaving, I’ll ask Soonyoung if he’ll let me stay with him, you stay in the apartment”

The second please never came. 


End file.
